A Twisted Little Red Riding Hood

Dear friends,

I just bumped into this today and I just HAD TO!!! share this with you ;)

Excerpt From POLITICALLY CORRECT BEDTIME STORIES

“Little Red Riding Hood”

There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her

mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to

take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother’s

house—not because this was womyn’s work, mind you, but because the deed

was generous and helped engender a feeling of community. Furthermore, her

grandmother was not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and

was fully capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.

So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket through the woods. Many people

believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot

in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident enough in her own budding

sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not intimidate her.

On the way to Grandma’s house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf, who

asked her what was in her basket. She replied, “Some healthful snacks for my

grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature

adult.”

The wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through

these woods alone.”

Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I

will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the

stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.”

Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But, because his status

outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style

thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma’s house. He burst into the

house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such

as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was

masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma’s nightclothes and crawled into

bed....

From Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: Modern Tales for Our Life and 
Timesby James Finn Garner (Macmillan, 1994). Copyright © by James Finn Garner.

Hope you liked it :)

Yours Truly The Twisted LadyBug

download
alternative link download